People ask me all the time…“What do I do if I’m positive and want to grow, but the people I’m close to aren’t into personal growth and don’t support it or put me down for it?”
Here is what I tell people when they ask this question:
First, don’t bother trying to get negative people to change. It is not your job to convince them to join you or to change them. It is not your responsibility to get them to read the books you are reading or to attend the motivational classes or programs you are into.
"Your job is simply to stay true to your own path and yourself. Your responsibility is to use what you are learning to be the best you that you can be. Your job is to be the model. Be happy. Be grateful. Be successful. Be loving. Be kind. And then maybe they will see the light in you and be inspired."
Energy is contagious. Seeing your positive light and success may make them want some of it. Here is the deal…. light dissolves dark…just like a lamp lights up a dark room – your energy can do this too. Your energy is influential. The people around you will have to work harder to stay dark when your light is all around them. That said, only they are responsible for how they choose to feel and be, not you.
Your job is to use what you are learning to be the best version of yourself possible. And as you stay positive, get in the flow, continue to grow, experience the beauty of your life, people will begin notice it. They will ask you what you are doing. They will wonder how things are working out so well for you. And if they choose to ask you your secret, you can tell them.
Everything happens for a reason. And that reason is there to assist you. It’s much more difficult to be positive and uplifted around negative and challenging people, but that may be your growing edge or the test to stay true to your values and your commitment to your personal healing and evolution. If you stay committed, you will likely grow faster and stronger because of it.
Also, nothing has meaning except for the meaning we give it. Don’t take it personally. Rather, think of it as an opportunity to practice reframing others negativity. Use it as a reminder of how not to be. This doesn’t mean you start judging or condemning them. But instead, observe their actions, words or way of being and use it to help you affirm for yourself how you want to interact with the world. Speak out positive affirmations to yourself. For example, if you see someone being stingy, say to yourself, “I choose to be generous.” Make it about how you want to be rather than about them being wrong.
Lastly, if the relationship(s) around you is toxic and unhealthy you may need to move on and make a break. However, if you simply cannot handle the non-supportive energy or if it’s bringing you down so that you can’t grow, you still may need to move on. Only you know. Regardless, doing so may require you to make some courageous decisions about who you are and how you want to live. Your personal, spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial health is important.
There are billions of people in this world and if you keep exploring and keep yourself open, you will find ones that back you up, inspire you, support you and challenge you to be better.